I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
