dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
