bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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