we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
