We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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