This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
