well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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