Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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