Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
