update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
