Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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