She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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