I must be too annoying 4 u.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
