Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
