hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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