I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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