i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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