Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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