Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize