it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
