I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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