Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
