So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The adults are the big ones right?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
