I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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