yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
