He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
