Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
