I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
