So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Redeem this text for a blowjob
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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