okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
