That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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