do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
