yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
