Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
