She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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