If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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