is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
