Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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