Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
