Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
