Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
