her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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