I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize