I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
