We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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