I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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