She is in my trunk
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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