The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
