Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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