Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
