You're a womanizer and a bitch.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so let's talk penis.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
