We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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