why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
