Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
