His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
