after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize