the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
