this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
