She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You're earring is so big in my mouth
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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