Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She said her name was "party"
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
