You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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