32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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