that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize