she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
