Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
