Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
