answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Don't tell me you're on acid again
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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