why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
