check it out our google latitudes are spooning
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
