i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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