Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
